TOM TROLLER:
Current school- Baylor
Tom is the man. He has a little problem with snoring though. One thing that I have learned though is that Tom is the God of basketball. I remember that one day that he and Shaq had a duel. The Man came through and ripped him a new one. He was awesome at basketball until one day when he was walking around Harlem at night and he decided to challenge some ballers in a back street court. The ballers lost 173-5 and they felt that they had been cheated, so the beat the crap out of Tom. This is the only reason that Tom is not making the big G's in the NBA right now.

Harris Kubos
Current school- Blinn
Harris is a large guy who manages to lose his temper rather easily. It's very funny when he turns completely red. I recall this time during the summer when he, Bart, and I were chilling in the band hall. Bart and I were repairing drums and doing other helpful things to the community when along comes Harris. First he had to call his mom to ler her know where he was at. Then he decided that it would be cool to throw stands at the ceiling to try to get the gooey eye balls down. Needless to say that did not work and he ended up breaking several stands in the process. Later on after Bart and I scolded him for that he brought in all of this Lysol. Bart and I were very confused and before we knew it he was setting the ground on fire in the band hall. Bart and I were so mad at him. We eventually forgave him though. Harris is a good guy and only a couple of things can really be said about him, Bus... Walkie talkie... bowling with stands.... Code S.....


Kate Gunn

Current school- Rice University
Kate is a nice well mannered girl, but this wasn't always so. When Kate was a young girl she was a wild one. She liked to host raves that would get way out of hand. One night at one of her rave parties the city council of Brenham showed up. Since they were all wild hippies they decided that they would go check out one of the now famous parties. At the party, Kate made several snide remarks about the council and their mothers. The next day the council gave Kate an note of eviction. Then they told her that she was going to be exiled from the town of Brenham. Kate movied to Chappel Hill and she and her family have been living there ever since. One day Kate hopes that the council will forgive her and let her live in Brenham again.


Matt Boeer

Current School- Southwestern
Matt is a burly guy who was once the reining boxing champion of the world. This was all so until one day his best friend, and trainer, Chris Gaines was challenged by a large Russian boxer, named Ivan, to an exhibition boxing match. Ivan mistook the fight for a serious one and broke the neck of Chris Gaines 3 rounds into the match. As Matt stood there holding his friend as his life slowly slipped away, he vowed to avenge his friend. Matt soon afterwords moved to Russia, in the mountains, and began to train. Finally, after 3 months of training in Russia, the day of the fight came. Matt was ready to rip out the heart of Ivan and put it on a platter. The entire crowd was against Matt and made sure that he was aware of this, but Matt stood there ever so calm with only the fight on his mind. The two opponents then came and hit gloves in the center of the ring signaling their being ready for this well matched fight to begin. The match began. About 12 seconds later Ivan hit and knocked Matt out. That was that.


Chris Gaines

Texas A&M University
We're not really sure what happened to Chris Gaines. All that we have heard is that he has joined a cult over in College Station.


Sara Addicks

(SEE ABOVE)


Beth Roehling

Current School- Brenham High School
Beth is a quiet one what can you say. She doesn't say much or anything... Until night comes. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUNN... Yes that's right on the side Beth is a pimp. Girls, if you have a wedding shower or something that you need help with just give beth a call at 1 800 BIG PIMP. She has all kinds from the exotic, to the average. We have actual acounts from some of her past employees. First is one from Tom Troller. He says, "Beth amazed me, she could cut a deal with anyone be it man or woman. She could convince a nun that she needed a man to accompany her to a motel for a hundred bucks, in no time flat." We've also had other stories told to us from another one of her men, Harris Kubos. He says, "Beth was a fair one. I almost wanted to pay her to work. She made me feel like I was really a person. She cared so much for the well being of her men. I remember this one time, a bunch of scarry cross dressers came up wanting to rent some of us, and beth didn't let them have us for any price." So girls and you freaky guys remember for a good time call Beth at 1 800 BIG PIMP.


Randy Shoup

Current School- Trinity
When Randy was first born, he weighed 25 lbs and was 2 feet tall. This guy has always been big. In middle school he started playing football and he owned the field. He once broke a guy named Milton's back in half because "he looked mean". Another of Randy's hobbies is ballet. We quote him saying, "I just like the tights." But in the end I guess he figured he could go farther with football. Unlike other football players though, Randy has a very high I.Q. ( Very similiar to Einstein or the guy who made the closet) So with his brains and brawn, Randy quickly became well respected in high school, and soon the USA. One guy stood in his way though, and his name was Chris Finley. It all came down to a show down at Randy's guest house one weekend... It was all over when Randy Olympic slammed him into the floor. Ever since then, no man has ever dared to go against him... Except a few big guys. Oh yeah it's said that if you look closely enough on winter nights you can still see Randy practicing his leaps in his tights.



Russell Schmidt

Current school- Middle Tennessee St.
Russ is a trustworthy fellow who has a lot to offer in life. He has been exiled from the state of Texas due to unacceptable uses of spam. The Spamburgler had him arrested for using it instead of glue to hold things together. Nowdays though Russ is in search of the perfect woman for his life. She is also probably looking for him, but hasn't found him because he lives in Tennessee. This is a huge problem for Russ living in Tennessee also, because if she also lives there then he hasn't gotten to date her yet because he's not related to her. There have been some unconfirmed reports of Russ following some of his friends to their family reunions so that he could follow in the steps of Mr. Lewis as far as meeting women goes.



Jonny McIntyre

Current School- Sam Houston State University
Jonny is a very cool guy who is very quick. This was not always so though. Yep, I remember back in elementary school Jonny weighed 250 pounds and about 4 foot tall. Back then Brenham was renowned for our olympic dodgeball team. Poor Jonny though didn't do so well at it. He was like a fat kid in a dodgeball game, actually that's exactly what he was. He wasn't about to let that slow him down though. That summer he decided to get into shape, so he walked to Subway every day and got their sandwich. He lost 215 pounds, so the doctors had to put him on a weight gaining program. Luckily for Jonny spam was really big around that time, and he luckily went to school with the Spamburgler. The Spamburgler gave him the hook-ups on all spam. The next year Jonny took the dodgeball team all the way to the finals, but they were beaten by Team Zimbabwe who seemed to be to skinny to hit.